Child
by Omnicat
Summary: It was because of the child. / Setsuna x Feldt


**Title:** Child

**Author:** Omnicat

**Spoilers & Desirable Foreknowledge:** The entire series.

**Warnings:** Pregnant Feldt and Setsuna being choked. While having sex. Um, yeah.

**Pairings:** Setsuna x Feldt

**Summary:** It was because of the child. / Setsuna x Feldt.

**Author's Note:** I would be the first to argue that the two already oddball kink meme prompts that inspired this should not be mixed, but try telling that to the bunnies. :\

**II-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-I-oOo-I-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-II**

**Child**

It was because of the child.

He didn't need the GN particles to see that. It was because she was so far along now that they couldn't hide it anymore, because last week they were forced to admit it and receive the others' blessings and congratulations and happiness.

It was because neither of them could genuinely look forward to it. They were supposed to look toward the future more than ever now, but memories of the past kept coming back so strong in both of them that they seemed to condemn everything that could ever be.

"I'm _scared,_" was what she had said when they first found out.

"Me too," he had answered.

He hadn't quite told her about his past, but he supposed he'd dreamt it into her head often enough; whenever he woke up from a nightmare it was always in her arms, with her hands running through his hair and to her soft voice whispering "I know, I know". For what little it was worth, she had always been more open, if only by necessity. Celestial Being was the only home she had ever known, after all: the story of her life was built into the Ptolemaios's hull, her history alive only in the hearts of the survivors and behind her own quiet lips. He thought he knew about her - knew anything that mattered - and thinking the things he had let slip over the years were what caused it, did not ask why she had stopped smiling.

Just as he did not ask why her tears dropped to his chest as she straddled him.

"Don't struggle," she said, and he didn't. He never did.

The red fabric was wrapped thick around her hands and stretched thin and taut to his throat. She moved with him and pulled tight, silent tears coursing down her cheeks, and he did not struggle. His fists clutched at the sheets. His eyes rolled and clenched as he gasped futilely, thrashed idly. While his body howled its needs and revelled in the feel of her body, his mind made paralysis tangible.

Had she smiled at him at all since they found out the child was there inside her? Had she kissed him at all? Had he come back to bed after fleeing her embrace to be alone with his ghosts and his cold sweat?

She was pale in his blurry eyes - the eery pallor of a true spacenoid, the bleaching of his vision. Her belly defined only in shadows, even her hair seemed to drain of colour. The blue of her eyes and the red of the scarf were bright and shrill, jagged edges in a world slowly melting into mist. A haze of pleasure and pain, unsaid words and tainted feelings.

It was beyond his control the moment he felt his mind begin to shift. Without a clear goal to reach for, a clear mind to guide it, Innovation came and went as circumstances demanded. It came when _called_ for - and she was calling with all her heart, calling for anyone, anything. She was calling in ways she wasn't even aware of.

But finally he knew why she wasn't calling for _him_. This little girl growing up in the shadow of an iron giant, sneaking in when eyes were focussed elsewhere, watching from behind glass and around corners, never ever being able to do anything but watch. Watch time and again as the ones she loved went out to die, time and again, in space, in the station, in the ship, in her head. Tieria, Christina, Lockon, Mother and Father and so many other fleeting faces, drifting away into memory and leaving her to be raised by a bouncing AI - by anybody who could be bothered to notice such an insignificant, powerless little shadow creature.

(Will-less little puppet.)

Powerless.

Paralyzed.

_Oh,_ he thought. _I see._

_Release._

Setsuna floated in the world between everything and nothing, a single non-existent part of the whole universe.

He floated until the warmth of her lips and the air in his lungs brought him back.

His eyes focussed slowly, and found her smiling at him through the tears.

"Hey," she said. "You trusted me."

"Feldt."

He wrapped her in his arms and held her, _held her_. The child was clutched between their bodies. It felt them breathe together, felt their understanding, their burdens and determination. It felt their hands entwine on the womb that carried it.

"It'll be alright this time," he said.

"There's no reason to be afraid," she agreed.

The child felt their promise, and stirred.

**II-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-I-oOo-I-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-II**

**PSAN:** ...Yeah, I don't know where this came from either.


End file.
